It's a monday - its a good day to start something new.
So a little about me. I'm just over 40 (seriously) just!!!! so at 41 I am finding myself starting again... the strange thing is that i'm not a newbie to this experience. I seem to find great partners, but cannot seem to hold onto them.
Yes, i know it may be everyone's problem, but i usually get to the 18 month mark and i can see the wind dial change to South pretty quickly...
So i've began a few things to try and get my life back on track and make some fundamental changes. Because like everyone else, i want to settle down, buy a house and start of family.
to the Lose to Cruise thing... well i kinda think i'm in LOSER mode at the moment... Not that i think i'm a true loser, but more someone who is in a loser state of mind right now (and yes, i should re-visit my Billy Joel Collection sometime in the near future and find some more suitable cliche's to use for those people who will somehow find my blog interesting and start reading regularily... yea - right!
So... have I worked out what i'm going to blog on each day... nope.. but it will be something about what i'm discovering each day and how it is progressing me through this next 364 days.
But lets start with some basic rules for the year:
1) NO RELATIONSHIPS... this year is about having a relationship with myself to see if someone else can in the longer term
2) FLINGS are definately allowed :-) - a gal has her needs!
3) Learn to really ride my Motorbike (OK this isn't a hard one - cuz i kind of love it, but like everything else i'll probably not get round to sitting for my P plates and it will lapse and then i'll be in the shit!)
4) I MUST WRITE about what is real. not what i think you want to hear.
5) It must be honest.
So, here is Day 1.
I went to a close friends father's funeral today. They had been married for 47 years and you could see the loss on her mother's face as they said goodbye. Now, i'm not a fan of funerals, been to enough of them, lost a few loved ones of my own, but the "wind beneath my wings" song, has to be the ultimate eh? You just have to say "Beaches", followed by the word "movie" to get me going... sigh... so i had a good cry. The ... very very new ex - we will sort a system in a minute so you can quickly identify who i'm talking about....
buggar - lets do it now... Lets just say the exes are counted down from most recent being 1 through to the first ex being... (well., we will work that out as we go)... :-)
So EX1 turned up as i was there with EX4. It gets more complicated..... because my friend (who's father passed away) was actually with my EX number5 but it wasn't until i was with EX4 that we became firm friends. So Ex 5 was there today, along with EX4 as we spent 5 years together and we are a large part of my friends life along with her kids. In addition EX1 turned up (EX of only a week) to "SHOW SUPPORT". You have to wonder if this is really "showing support" or showing guilt... but anyway i digress...
Three exes and a coffin in a room (sounds like a movie) + "wind beneath my wings".... i had to leave ..... (but i didn't) i stood up and took it and made it through. But I also decided that my funeral has to be more fun than the normal ones... (well, it will be fun with all thoses exes in the room)...
Tonight, i got on my bike and i rode with EX2 who had just bought her first bike (YAH)... and it was the best evening we had spent with each other EVER>>>>>>>>> (oh dear....)
Stay tuned.... for Day 2
